There are plenty of lovey-dovey vibes in the universe right now. Maybe you’re moving on to better relationships or just swiping right… We concocted a V-day musical horoscope.
where: At a party.
why: Your friends dragged your anti-V-day ass there.
TAURUS: Skyline To
where: In your car, on a parking lot overlooking the city.
why: ‘Skyline To’ makes anyone feel nostalgic.
GEMINI: Crack Rock
where: In the subway.
why: You’re waiting for your date. They’re late.
where: In the Airbnb you’re sharing with your friends.
why: I can’t read though Capricorns’ minds so dunno.
where: In the streets of Fort Worth, TX, Moscow or Munich.
why: ‘Cos you’re fucking lost. Your phone just died and you gotta meet your Tinder date downtown.
VIRGO: Forrest Gump
where: In your bed.
why: You’re a proud anti-V-day bean.
LIBRA: Strawberry Swing
where: At the amusement park with your date.
why: That’s what they wanted, they don’t know you’re scared of heights.
SCORPIO: White Ferrari
where: At the club.
why: The DJ has great taste in music obviously.
where: In the bus.
why: Going home to spend the evening with your S.O.
where: While crying in a Uber.
why: Frank can make anyone cry. Don’t take it personal hun.
AQUARIUS: Swim Good
where: At night, just before a midnight bath with your date.
why: Aquarius… Aqua… Water… To swim?