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German youth on how porn and dating apps affect their love lives

German youth on how porn and dating apps affect their love lives

photo credits: Marianne Wilson

In today’s digital world, singles are so busy matching that they’re not actually connecting, in person, where it counts. 


Martin, 22, student, Berlin, Germany

I downloaded Tinder and Badoo two years ago when I moved to Berlin for my studies. I’m from a small town in the south of Germany, where everybody knows everyone: I’ve known the three girls I dated since kindergarten… So let me tell you that I jumped on the occasion to see new faces. I went on more dates that I can count, there were just so many possibilities, so many potential hook up partners. It became tiring at times, as I felt that my sexual fantasies were taking over my brain, their fulfillment being a swipe away.

Alimatou, 25, model, Stuttgart, Germany

I found, through dating apps, a pool of potential boyfriends and that was really comforting, as I had just broken up with my ex of three years at the time. I see these apps as emotional pain relief, that’s just how I cope with heartbreak. But the interactions I had with other users – and I’m sure most people will agree – show that hook up culture trivializes sex and disconnects it from emotional connexion. And most people only care about the number of matches they have which isn’t the point of such apps.

Sven, 20, student, Essen, Germany

I met my current boyfriend on Tinder and I’m really grateful because I wouldn’t have met him IRL. I’d say that the only con of dating apps is that they’re hypersexualized which can be complicated if you’re looking for a serious relationship.

Silke, 23, personal stylist, Berlin, Germany

One too many times I found my partners mimicking violent porn scenes during our encounters and I find it weird, especially since most of them are normally sweet and tender. Porn is a double-edged sword to the extent that it’s a way to explore our sexuality but also to pervert it. And dating apps are just another fun way to meet new people. We live in the digital age, so let’s make the most of it!